


I'm Not Ready

by ForLove



Series: The Family We Choose [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Daddy Dean, M/M, Parenthood, papa cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 14:35:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4670282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForLove/pseuds/ForLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas adopted fraternal twins five years ago. Now their girls are starting kindergarten and Dean's not sure he likes this change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Ready

“Dean you’re going to make us late.” Cas calls from the front door. 

Claire’s small hand grips Cas’s as she uses her immense lung capacity, “Dadddyyyyyyy!”

Dean fumbles with a bow on Emma’s pony tail as they round the corner. “We’re coming. See? All ready.” He spins his daughter around with a grin as she giggles.

“Dean.” Cas is not pleased.

“Fine fine, let’s go.”

As Dean parks in front of the school his stomach sinks. The smile from glancing to the back seat at his girls has faded and Dean sits gripping the steering wheel tightly while Cas helps Emma and Claire out.

“Dean?” Cas holds the hands of both girls while peeking back into the car.

“Yeah,” Dean’s voice cracks as he’s shaken out of his thoughts. He follows a step behind.

Emma gleefully bounces into the kindergarten playground and wiggles out of Cas’s hand to climb up the small slide.

“Papa look! Alex!” Claire points at another student before slipping out of Cas’s hand to hug her friend from daycare.

With a lump in his throat, Dean watches his girls play until a teacher ushers them into a brightly colored classroom. They sit on a rainbow carpet, Emma in Cas’s lap and Claire in Dean’s. Trying to listen to the teacher explain pick up and drop off procedures, Dean wraps his arms around his little girl. He’s distracted. His mind wanders to five years previous when he and Cas signed adoption papers for the fraternal twins. It feels like last week. They were so small. He used to worry he’d break them.

Cas talks to the teacher for a few minutes at the end of orientation. Dean lingers nearby but hears none of the conversation. He only interacts when he’s forced to shake Mr. Fitzgerald's hand. Dean thinks the teacher looks like a child himself.

Over pizza that night Claire is buzzing with excitement. “Daddy did you see? Alex is in Mr. Fiz'z class too!”

“I did Sweetheart,” Dean brushes a strand of hair away from Claire’s mouth.

“And Papa,” She continues beaming at Cas, “Did you see? I get my own desk!”

“You sure do!” Cas smiles easily.

“Daddy can I have apples and cinnamon for snack tomorrow?” Emma asks with a mouthful of cheese pizza.

“Of course. We’ll make your lunch right after dinner, okay?” Dean feels tears welling but tells himself to suck it up.

A week ago they went shopping for school backpacks and matching lunch boxes. It was fun _then_. Claire found a Grumpy Cat backpack that she hasn’t stopped wearing. She carries around her Grumpy Cat stuffed animal in the backpack everywhere. Dean smiles to himself when he thinks of the small cat stuffed animal attached to a keychain they’re going to give her in the morning. Emma picked a Monster High backpack and lunchbox so Dean found her a little skull and bow keychain. He’s worries about the body proportions of the characters, those lanky legs and bobble heads are fine for cartoons, but he doesn’t want Emma to get an unrealistic idea.

Dean is quiet when they get in bed. Cas doesn’t ask why, he just wraps his arms around Dean and holds him a little tighter.

In the morning Dean can’t believe how nervous he feels. He braids Emma’s hair and puts a Clair’s in a ponytail as Cas sets out bowls of cereal. He knows he should be working quicker but he can’t seem to move fast enough.

The girls crunch on some dry Honey O’s as Cas hands them each a child sized yogurt smoothie. He hands one to Dean with a lingering hand on his shoulder. Dean doesn’t take his eyes off their girls, but reaches up to thread their fingers together. Cas squeezes Dean’s hand before he lets go and takes the empty cereal bowls to the sink.

“Ready?” Cas asks the girls.

“Yeah!” They squeal.

Dean sulks, _No_.

“Claire, I’m sorry Mr. Cat can’t come to school with you.” Cas goes to a kitchen drawer to pull out her new keychain. “So, Daddy found you a small one you can take.”

Claire squeals in delight as Cas attaches the small cat to the loop at the top of her backpack.

Emma sits silently with a frown.

“We didn’t forget you Sweetheart.” Dean brushes the back of his fingers against her cheek. “Got you one of those Monster High skulls.” He attaches it to Emma’s backpack as her eyes light up. “I just hope we don’t get in trouble with sending you with a skull.”

“It’s so cute!” Emma grins. Dean eyes Cas with a confused shrug. 

“Alright, I guess we better go then.” Dean reluctantly stands. As the girls put their backpacks on and walk out the front door with Cas, Dean lingers a moment before slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder. He grabs his own lunch box, _Star Wars_ (cause that never goes out of style), and follows. He doesn’t care if the Benny gives him grief over the lunchbox, or if the other architects snicker behind his back. His girls picked it out, he’s gonna to use it.

Cas helps the girls into their booster seats as Dean locks front door. Fondly smiling at his husband smoothing their girls’ hair, Dean pauses before he gets into the front seat of the car. Dean hates to admit it, but the 2014 Impala is a great family car. He’s happy they still have the classic model for the weekends, but seeing is family safe in the modern car makes his heart swell.

Emma and Claire are giddy as they arrive at school and are ready to sprint to Mr. Fitz’s room.

“Hey, hey.” Dean complains. “First day of school picture.” 

Dean and Cas kneel and the family huddles together as Dean takes a group selfie.

“Have fun girls.” Cas hugs them.

“We will Papa!” Emma declares as she hugs Cas then Dean and scampers off.

“Claire?” Dean looks at the suddenly worried face.

“I don’t know anyone.” She grips her backpack straps tightly.

“You know Emma and Alex.” Cas offers smoothing her hair.

She nods silently.

“And you’ll make more friends.” Dean adds.

“Do you want us to walk you in?” Cas questions while standing up. Dean is slower to follow.

Claire shakes her head _no_. “I can do it.” She gives their legs a hug before walking to the playground. When she reaches the fence she looks back with a smile. Then, she's quickly distracted by a child with a bouncy ball.

Dean heaves a sigh and Cas gently leans into him.

“I’m not ready.” Dean whispers.

Squeezing his hand Cas murmurs, “Neither am I.”


End file.
